In a press conference that will surely go down in MUN history, the Historical Joint Crisis Committee (HJCC) of Japan took the art of not taking things seriously to dizzying new heights. From shocking admissions to outright farce, this event felt more like a fever dream than a formal gathering of Japanese ministers- especially considering the fact that they names themselves the “Shogun No Shawarma Cabinet.”
The chaos began with the Prime Minister nonchalantly declaring, “I love genocide.” As the words hung in the air, a stunned silence quickly morphed into uproarious laughter from the cabinet—clearly, the gravity of such a statement was lost on them. When pressed for clarification, PM leaned into the absurdity and claimed, “As a young child, nothing matched up to it.” Because, of course, reminiscing about one’s childhood is always a suitable context for discussing mass violence.
The hilarity reached its peak when delegates started firing questions faster than the PM could formulate coherent answers. When queried about plans for “JELQ,” and the newly proposed nation, the cabinet’s brilliant strategy was revealed: “Our best course of action is… nothing.” Yes, you heard that right. In a world rife with conflict and pressing issues, their official position was one of complete inaction—a response that left the audience both bewildered and in stitches.
Then came the slip-up that turned the absurdity into an outright crisis. PM, perhaps a tad too comfortable in this chaotic environment, casually let slip that nuclear weapons were being deployed- which led to yet another crisis when the KMT found out.
In true HJCC fashion, the Right Honourable Emperor decided to weigh in, launching into a rant. He referred to the KMT as “illiterate rice eaters” while calling himself and his cabinet “literate rice eaters.” Instead of addressing the nuclear implications, the Emperor took the opportunity to throw shade, turning what could have been a diplomatic crisis into a petty cultural insult competition.
As the press conference rolled on, it became abundantly clear that the delegates were more interested in crafting absurdist comedy than navigating the complexities of international relations.
By the end of the conference, attendees were left to ponder a vital question: Were they witnessing a diplomatic failure or a stand up comedy? With a Prime Minister who loves genocide and his extremely emotional concubine, the HJCC had blurred the lines between politics and parody. If nothing else, they’d shown the world that sometimes, in the theatre of diplomacy, the absurdity is the only thing worth taking seriously.
-Shubhi Shakalya